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Why do love relationships fail? - Referat

Why do love relationships fail? And why did Nick`s love relationship fail?
In the following I will explain you some examples for things, which should not happen, when you are in a love relationship. Also related to the end of Nick`s relationship in “The end of something” by Ernest Hemmingway. First I will present you the most often reasons for ends of relationships, and its consequences. Then I will depict, why Nick`s relationship failed, and in the end I will draw a conclusion.
My first pint is the loss of trust. Trusting your partner is an essential part of a relationship and you must be able to support your partner in every situation. Nevertheless it happens very often, that situations develop, which involve, that you cannot trust your partner anymore. Those can arise because of many different reasons, for example cheating, breaking promises or lying to your partner. After such a situation everyone has to decide by himself if he still trusts his partner or if he loses the trust, what is equivalent to the end of the relationship. Of course cheating is one of the most reasons for partners splitting up and by that example you can see, that everyone has a different definition and different ideas concerning the behavior of the partner. So there are on the one hand partners, who think cheating is just talking to other men or women nicely and on the other hand partners, who do not care if you kissed another person. The easiest way to find out what your partner expects from you is just talking with him or her.
And that will also be my next point: the communication. So many relationships fail just because the partners cannot talk with each other. Communication keeps the relationship interesting and also helps to avoid and solve problems. A relationship without talking or communicating in another way has no future. But how can it happen, that two people, who understood themselves perfectly when they met the first time, now cannot communicate anymore? In most of the cases humans realize, that they have different dreams, wishes and visions for the future, not before they lived together for a longer time. And if the partners do not find any solve for their problems they just break up. Another important point is that the partners just bore each other, because of different interests for example. Under those circumstances the partners do not know what to talk about, because they think, that everything is said in their relationship, so they break up as well. And of course even communication can be dangerous for a relationship. When you and your partner have different ways to communicate and you both are not able to understand each other or when you just talk rudely or even insult or accuse your partner constantly it might be a sign for the end of your relationship. So all in all we can say that the end of a regardful communication also means the end of the relationship.
Last but not least also stress can be a reason for not communicating anymore, because if you have much stresses in your job you probably want to have time for yourself at home and then do not communicate with your partner anymore. Here is important that you always have fun with your partner, because if you cannot laugh with your partner anymore there is no future for your relationship and further you have to be able to show tenderness against your partner and also staying sexually active, because if you stop being tender your relationship ends up in a friendship.
My third point is egoism. Surveys produced, that egoism is definitely the most often reason for the end of relationships. Every person expects from his partner that he or she understands us; is interested in us and thinks about the best for the relationship and not about the best for him. The effect of acting egoistic is that you do not give esteem to your partner anymore and he or she easily feels unattended. Egoism shows that your own interests, like the job, your hobbies or your friends are more important to you than your partner. And so you signalize your partner that you do not care for him or her anymore. Sometimes you do not recognize when you act egoistic, so you should mind to spend enough time with your partner and enjoy that time.
Because if you do not pay attention to your partner he or she might search somebody else, who takes care of him or her. Of course you are also supposed to take some time for yourself and an egoistic behavior is not bad at anytime, because you show self- confidence and you can make sure to act realize your own opinion, but you should always mind to not disregard your partner.
Sure, all these reasons mean not automatically the end of your relationship. So the best thing to avoid the end is to watch out for some bad signals in your cooperation. For example an uncomfortable feeling in the presence of your partner or a disrespectful behavior towards your partner, what leads to an abasement. And also missing regards can be such a bad sign. In those cases you should fight for your relationship and be brave enough to talk to your partner critically to solve the problems. Even a conflict can be very helpful to rescue your relationship.
In the case of Nick’s relationship I would say that the problems were Nick’s egoism in some parts and the communication which was not there anymore. Nick sees himself as a teacher for Marjorie. To teach her is an important part in a relationship for him and Marjorie accepts it until a certain point, when she wants to realize her own opinion and show her knowledge. That shows that Nick always wants to have the control in the relationship and the control over Marjorie. Here we can see Nick being on the one hand probably a very jealous character, who wants to control his partner and on the other hand Nick being a very conservative thinking character, who ascribes himself a higher grade, than he describes to his female partner. In his mind there is no sexual equality and he cannot manage it with himself when the woman shows that she also has an own opinion. We can see that behavior in the story, when Marjorie tells Nick that she knows how to fish and Nick suddenly gets angry. That might also show the idea of the society in the early 20th century, the time when Hemingway wrote the short story. In that time men and women were not a quarter as equal.
Nick also seems uncaring and underlines that love isn`t fun anymore and he illustrates that feeling by very short answers. In the end of the story both are distanced physically and mentally and Marjorie indicates, that she finally has her own opinion, when she doesn`t want Nick`s help to shove the boat off. We can say that Nick is the one, who wants to end the relationship, while Marjorie gets along with Nick`s behavior in most of the scenes and still loves him, Nick is not interested in the relationship and Marjorie anymore.
In conclusion I can say that, when two persons love each other they are able to solve nearly every problem together. You should fight for your love and pay attention to your partner. Also you should act towards your partner, as you want your partner acting towards you. But if worst comes to worst breaking up your relationship is better than being unhappy in a relationship.

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